VIPnet Media

2 months ago

Jeff Dousharm 😎 VIP Showcase #VIPShowCase #vipnetmedia #viphealthnet #vipbiznetShow up as YOU......not a fake or a copy of someone else

Have you ever felt like you had to work just to fit in?

Have you ever felt like you were not enough?

Have you ever put on a "mask" because you were ashamed or felt the need to hide a part of the real you just to make other people feel better?

And by all this, I'm not referring to continuing to improve ourselves....we should all strive to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be......and that's the key SELF....still being YOU.

In a very recent post, you can see flakes of skin on my cheek.

And as expected I've had a few people use it to mock me, make fun of me, criticize me and more.

My face was peeling, flaking, and looking terrrrrrible.

This is one of the many impacts of my medical conditions and past that has nearly ended my life.

And I used that picture very intentionally.

Could I have deleted it after taking and seeing that?
Sure.

In fact, at times I'm very self-conscious about pictures.

The skin issues, permanent damage and swelling/weight gain from so many years of prednisone, and abuse from not only the medical conditions but the treatments and medications themselves.....well it leads to a dark place that compounds everything else.

For years I never talked about this. Just like with my medical challenges, I worked hard to hide it and myself from everyone. Just put on the mask, and pretend to fit in and be enough for them.

Later I started sharing tiny pieces of my own challenges....in conversations, from the stage, and everywhere else....and it created more of a real connection with people.

And one day I am speaking at a university to 3 different entrepreneur groups.

This is probably the first time I really went deeper into my medical conditions. I share more of the darkness and pain.

And I talk about pushing through multiple medical conditions and finding ways to keep my business going.

Docs tell me that I wasn't expected to live, and I used that....and still do today.

And I compare my outlook on life:
Pain is inevitable
Yet suffering is optional
And there is a BIG difference.

Anyway, without going into the whole presentation, here's why this event and experience is so important to me.....

After the presentation, I am talking with a few people and notice a young lady clearly waiting to talk to me.

She keeps waiting patiently until others clear out.

Finally, she approaches me and as her mouth opens to speak, her eyes turn into waterfalls. Tears are gushing down her face.

She thanks me again and again, explaining that she is so worried about her mother who also has Ulcerative Colitis and is facing surgery.

She says that my story gives her hope for her mom by just seeing that I've been there and it is possible to still do the things we want in life - there is a way.

She's never been able to talk to anyone about this or even feel ok about it, so that day meant the world to her.

So what if I decided to hold back and not show up as me that day?

What if I kept hiding things that are a very real part of my life?

Very few people talk bluntly about medical crises and these kinds of medical conditions.

We are pushed to think it's shameful, embarrassing, or that it's just not ok to talk about.

As a result, fewer people confront it,
Fewer people share,
And that leads to losing the connection because we understand each other more through that "stuff" we've been through.

I continue to push even when it's out of my comfort zone to simply show up and be willing to share more of those areas - more of myself.

And it's been an important key that allows me to connect with and help many people in business and in life in general.

When I show up as ME....
not trying to be someone else
not hiding
not keeping the masks on all the time

Then I am able to connect with and lead people at much higher levels - and that leads to real impact

So going back to the picture I mentioned earlier...

I post imperfect pictures of me

I don't always try to make my face look better

I don't use filters for every post to make some fake version of me

And here's the biggest part about pics like this:
IT'S NOT FOR ME

That was the turning point when I realized this.
I don't need to worry about looking perfect.

The haters are going to find something to make fun of no matter what....and I'm not here for them anyway

I am here for others - especially supporters.
And some NEED to see this.

They need to see others posting imperfect pictures.
Showing up as ourselves vs some masked version or pretending to be someone else is critical.

They feel like they aren't enough sometimes - just as I have.

So when I post a pic like that, they SEE it.
They may not say anything on the post....and that's ok.

But in their head, something clicks - wow, his face looks terrrrrible! lol

"Maybe my pics aren't so bad to share if he can share THAT"

"Maybe I don't need to hide so much"

"Maybe I can show up and not feel ashamed"

"Maybe I'm enough"

So yeah I post imperfect pics of me.
That's who I am

There are good days and bad days in real life - and in real pictures too!! lol

I simply got to the point where I'm done feeling the need to hide.

So for the haters who want to laugh or make fun of it - no problem.....glad to serve....it really doesn't bother me anymore.

For others - show up as YOU.

Don't try to show up as someone else.

Don't hide YOU just to appease others.

When YOU show up as YOU...
And I show up as ME...

WE can do things that are legendary ... See MoreSee Less

VIPnet Media

2 months ago

VIP Showcase 😎 #VIPShowCase #vipnetmedia #vipbiznet #vipwealthnetIn 2021 I stepped back from Apex a little.

I had a team run Apex, and I spent most of my time speaking, writing, and doing social media marketing.

It was the first year I let other people start speaking at Apex events. Up until that point it was 100% all me doing everything in Apex.

I would show up to an event, speak, then roll out.

After a while, it became routine. I went from teaching all day, to only teaching one hour.

But

It’s hard to get to know 200+ people in an hour.
It’s hard to network in just 60 mins.
it’s hard to maintain relationships in 1 hour.

This carried on all the way up until the end of 2022. Just one hour of my time, is all I gave out.

This year, I’ve switched it up.

We have already done 4 whole days of events this year. We waste no time. We fuck around, therefore we find out.

Each day of the events, I pulled between 3-6 people to a private area for one on one talks.

It’s been a game changer for me to meet and talk with some of the members I didn’t know.

I’d have lunch with a group of 5 and did one on ones every day before and after I got off stage.

I went from one hour, to 6 hours or so.

I enjoyed it so much I’m now doing the intake calls for Apex Executives. When people join our highest level they get 30 mins on the phone with me to get started.

I’m tapping all the way In with our network this year. I’ll be the most approachable leader in the game.

Rise Above 🇺🇸 ... See MoreSee Less